HowToPhil

Lines that should probably get you slapped

Lines that should probably get you slapped:

  1. I’ve lost my number and looked everywhere, except in your pants. Mind if I check?
  2. Hi. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I’ve read that women decide if they’re going to have sex with someone within the first seven seconds of meeting them. So, what do you think? (waggle eyebrows)
  3. I’m gonna go have an orgasm. You wanna come too?
  4. You know what they say about guys with big noses. (if they say something about dick size say “No, no nothing about that” and look like you’ve never heard that one). They can go down longer (tilt head back) like a snorkel. They never have to come up for air. (waggle eyebrows).
  5. I’m five foot nine inches tall. It’s the perfect height. (wait) 69 inches baby. (waggle eyebrows)
  6. Wanna go someplace quiet and make a lot of noise?
  7. I’m a reverend with the Universal Life Church of Modesto California. Ever been spanked by a holy man?
  8. They ask “What do you do?” and you say, “You, if you play your cards right.”
  9. Do you meet a lot of pirates - because DAMN you got the booty!
  10. My friends over there say you wouldn’t give me the time of day… so… could you tell me what time it is?





“The rules of go are so elegant, organic, and rigorously logical that if intelligent life forms exist elsewhere in the universe, they almost certainly play go.”
Emanuel Lasker


“I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.”
Albert Einstein


“There are possible things, impossible things, and things that happen. Sometimes things happen that were impossible.”
Pierre Audouard


“You must always consider the circumstances. Nothing is identical, yet things repeat.”
Pierre Audouard


“Even the oceans have shallow spaces.”
Pale Lord Hiphis


“Sell a man a fish and he buys a fish today. Teach a man to fish and he buys fish from you for the rest of his life, because now he knows he doesn’t want anything to do with the process of catching fucking fish - and he trusts you.”
— Pale Lord Hiphis


New song! “The Tide Isn’t That Strong”

(A song about taking control of your own life)


Lyrics:

She never knows where to go
She never knows where to go with her life
Drifts down city streets
Caught in the stream of other dreams
pulled by the current of other lives

She never knows where to go
She never knows where to go with her life
Drifts down city streets
Caught in the stream of other dreams
pulled by the current of other lives

Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms and swim
The tide isn’t that strong

Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms and swim
The tide isn’t that strong

She never knows where to go
She never knows where to go with her life
Drifts down city streets
Caught in the stream of other dreams
pulled by the current of other lives

Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms and swim
The tide isn’t that strong

Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms
Stretch out your arms and swim
The tide isn’t that strong

She never knows where to go
She never knows where to go with her life
Drifts down city streets
Caught in the stream of other dreams
pulled by the current of other lives


https://soundcloud.com/philliprhoades/the-tide-isnt-that-strong-2014-phillip-j-rhoades



“Those who are good at winning, don’t usually fight.”
Zhang


“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War